Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
