Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
