he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
organizing the empties. That sober.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
