exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
