OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
