I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
