I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
