hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
