I just saw a hot homeless man
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize