I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
