I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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