What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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