Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
