And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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