"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
