Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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