Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
