I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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