billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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