idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
