I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
