Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize