Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize