you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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