He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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