eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
