O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
