I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize