Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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