I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
