I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
