I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
