I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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