Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
