Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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