please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
