all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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