im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
