Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
BRING THE BAGELS
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
