party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
