Betty ford says i'm here all night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
