omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
