There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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