party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
