make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
