Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
