The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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