I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
