Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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