Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
