Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we're so committed to being not committed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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