The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
