...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
