This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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