On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
