there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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