when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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