she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
