Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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