I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
