make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
