I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
