Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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