**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize