I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
