just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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