we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize