we have officially lost it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
