At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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