So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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