apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
