Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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